NEW YORK
– Citing an alarming trend towards “transparency, clarity and lucidity” among
worldwide financial professional ranking institutions, the Basel-based Centre
for International Finance Certification (CIFC) today approved preliminary plans
to double the count of the world’s financial designations by the year 2020. The
move, which was met with unilateral approval among regulators, financial
concerns, and securities attorneys alike, is seen as yet another surge in the
overarching trend towards what one lawmaker calls “edufinandemonium.”
“Edufinandemonium is basically
the art of making financial education slightly more nuanced than it currently
is,” Rep. Steven Bacon (D-NY) said. “For example, you have someone who already
is a Certified Public Accountant. Under the current regime, this person is only
required to use her certification credential in communications with clients and
prospective clients: Samantha Knox, CPA. Under the new proposed rule, all who
pass the Certified Public Accountancy exam will automatically be granted an
additional designation of RSTP – Really Smart Tax Person. We’re also going to
require that those with bachelor’s degrees will list BA/BS, and those with
masters’ degrees list those as well. Thus, in New York State, we’ve gone from
Miss Samantha Knox, CPA, to Miss Samantha Knox, CPA, RSTP, MS (Fin), BS (Fin.).
You see? A client meeting for the first time with the first professional might
not feel nearly as confident as one meeting with the second.”
According
to Bacon, the legislation is estimated to create an instantaneous 4.7 million
new designations in the state of New York in its first year alone. Nor, he
says, is this the only benefit. “We estimate the amount of additional fees
these professionals are going to be able to generate at about $60 billion in
the first five years or so,” he said. “Of course, half of that or so will be
offset by the incremental costs of printing on both sides of their business
cards.” But accountants aren’t the only ones expected to benefit from CIFC’s
new legislation. According to Bacon, licensed attorneys also stand to gain from
the new regs. “Most attorneys use JD or Esq. after their names – respectively,
teacher of law, juris doctor,
or Esquire.” (Bacon,
himself a 1997 magna cum laude graduate of Yeshiva University’s
Benjamin N. Cardozo School of Law, said he would text its meaning to this
reporter later on.) “Since lawyers presumably have undergraduate degrees, we’re
going to list those, but we thought of an additional hierarchical calculus,” he
said. “You know how in law school, the brightest students generally end up
editing the law review or clerking for some prominent judge? From now on, any
attorney with that kind of accomplishment is going to be styled IMC – iure malum canem. In English, it means ‘Wicked Righteous
Law Dog,’ he said. “Anyone with a 3.5 GPA or above presumably made dean’s list
for one semester, and the worldwide designation for these talented
professionals will be LO – legis
observare, ‘Lawyer to Watch,’ he said. The designations are also
cumulative, Bacon added. “This is expected to dramatically change the public’s
perception of that hardworking Ivy League attorney who just isn’t able to bill
$1,000 an hour on a ‘Gemini Jones, JD.’ But “Gemini M. Jones, JD, Esq., IMC,
LO, LLM, BA (Eng.); see website for additional designations?” I can physically hear the client
billfolds opening wider,” Bacon said.
Area financial professionals had mixed emotions about the
project. “ I’m not sure I’m ready for this – I don’t understand all of the
current designations,” said Joel Redmond, a private bank financial planner in
Central New York. “Parents already have bumper stickers that say ‘My grade
schooler is smarter and prettier than your grade schooler.’ These extra
designations are like making those bumper stickers windshield-sized,” he said.
“I mean, don’t you think these kids just want to play dodgeball?”
Redmond is the author of the recently-published Tradecraft: What Spymasters Can
teach us About Investing, released on Cyber Monday 2013. He himself said
he’ll be affected by the new legislation as well.
“I’m a Certified Financial PlannerÔ professional, so I’d still use
that designation,” Redmond said. “But I looked over the laws, and there’s a
provision that hasn’t really been widely announced. They actually want you to
use designations for unrelated jobs you’ve had in times past. Now, I’ve been a
cook, waiter, janitor, parking lot attendant, mobile phone merchant, editor,
photographer, reporter, goatherd, and at least ten other things,” Redmond said.
“I’m thinking of hiring a stunt double who’s only had one or two jobs to play
me in client interactions.”
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